Try to accept yourself as a split personality – don’t worry, we ALL are. We each have a positive and negative side. This is particularly important when it comes to our way of thinking. Our minds are filled with constant chatter. We’re not conscious of a lot of that chatter – it happens automatically. Here’s the problem. A significant amount of that subconscious chatter is often negative self-talk. Being humble is a virtue, but it doesn’t involve non-recognition that you’re good at something. You don’t have to be a complete narcissist, telling everyone that you are good at something. Just knowing and recognizing it in yourself is enough.

Negative self-talk leads to a negative belief system, especially about oneself. Where does this negativity come from?

It probably began where you were a child. Someone said you weren’t good enough, you were a loser, you were lazy. Children take things literally and to heart very easily. I remember my sixth grade carpentry teacher telling my father that I’d NEVER be good with my hands. I believed that for years. Then I built my own house, singlehandedly, with only books on the subject to guide me.

Our information media doesn’t help much either. What is the mix of positive and negative news items? Eighty to ninety per cent negative?

Negative belief patterns are very powerful. Often it seems that they overpower any positive beliefs you may have in yourself. They are NOT all-powerful. Your positive side has the most powerful weapons of all. Your negative side can’t prevail against them, but it won’t go down without a fight. It needs to be hit again and again, every time it tries to reassert itself.

Those powerful weapons are positive affirmations. Louise L. Hay has a great affirmation that applies to practically every situation. “I APPROVE OF MYSELF”

Continuous positive affirmations will defeat your negative side EVERY time. Don’t be surprized if it’s difficult to start with. Your negative side has probably been in control for a long time. It wants to stay in control. Don’t let it!

Every time you feel negative about yourself, you’ll know that your negative side is trying to make a comeback. Just say to yourself, “STOP!” Then produce your ultimate weapons – your own positive affirmations. You can also fight those negative statements with logic.

“I’m always wrong.” – STOP!                                                                                          I’m not ALWAYS wrong! I’ve made a few mistakes, but generally I make the right decisions.                                                                                                                             In fact, I’m NOT always wrong, I’m USUALLY right!”

Notice how you’ve changed the negative “I’m always wrong” to the positive “I’m usually right” in just a couple of simple, rational steps? Believe me, with logic and positive affirmations, you’ll win the fight!

Bruce Donald Gilham

Bruce Donald Gilham has years of experience in psychiatric counselling and spiritual meditation. You can find his book through the following links :-

http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TheAwakening-DiscoveringYourSpiritualPath.html

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Discovering-Your-Spiritual-Path/dp/1608602087

If there is one phrase I truly detest it’s “The battle of the sexes”. The “newly enlightened” in the nineteen sixties got it wrong with their unisex philosophy. Men and women are anatomically and psychologically different. When people mention “the battle of the sexes”, they are generally focusing on the psychological rather than the physiological differences between men and women. They are inferring that there is war between them.

Gender based behaviour is our inheritance from our forbears. What are the four most distinctive features of our species? We are mammals. We are sociable. We are territorial. We are omniverous.

Historically we were both predator and prey. Alone, we were weak little creatures – easy game for the more powerful animal carnivores. But as an organized group we were the most powerful and efficient predators that ever lived. The glue that held our tribal groups together was the complementary differences between the human genders.

Men were hunters and protectors. They were strong, capable of short bursts of energy and single-minded – the perfect hunters and protectors.

Women were gatherers and nuturers. They could not equal men’s physical strength, but they had greater endurance. They were multi-tasked. They browsed wide areas in search of fruit, roots and herbs while caring for a baby or small child at the same time – the perfect gatherers and nuturers.

Men and women are designed to fit perfectly together – that’s why our species survived so successfully for so long. If we better understand the natures of men and women, then we wouldn’t need to try to change each other. There will always be differences. We need to look at behaviour changes as compromizes. No two people can live successfully together without compromize or accomodating each other to some extent.

We are living in interesting times. In western society we are not witnessing a total reversal of gender behaviour, but rather a “gender blend” of roles. Both women and men have their career paths. They both share home duties. Men are becoming more involved in raising their children. It used to be cynically said that to “mother a child” conjured images of caring, comforting and nurturing. A man could ”father a child” in five minutes on the back seat of a car!

Are we simply witnessing a cultural change in western society, or will this modern gender-blend spread world-wide and become a new evolutionary phase in the progress of humankind?

Sharing, acceptance, and understanding are three elements of spirituality. They are selfless, and they not only lead TO true love, but they also emanate FROM true love.

Bruce Donald Gilham

http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TheAwakening-DiscoveringYourSpiritualPath.html

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Discovering-Your-Spiritual-Path/dp/1608602087

An exerpt from “The Awakening – Discovering Your Spiritual Path” and author’s commentary.

“What is a window, but a window? Is it not that which exists on the other side of the window that is of interest? If you were to gaze upon the window of an imposing mansion, you would see but a pane of glass reflecting your own image and that which physically surrounds you.”

*******************

This meditational text is telling us to look beyond the superficial in any situation. Shallowness is a disease of modern society. So many people are swayed by outward appearances. If someone is wearing expensive clothes, they must be rich. If  someone can mutter a few lines from Shakespeare, they must be intelligent and well-read. If someone is brash and full of confidence, they must be experts at what they are doing. Well, it’s not necessarily so!

We are being advized to look deeper – often the surface is just a facade.

This also applies to the concept of love. Often the search for love doesn’t really involve love at all. People can choose to become partners simply as a matter of convenience – psychological or financial.

I remember a man, following his engagement, telling me his future bride earned more money than him and owned two houses. He never once mentioned that she was beautiful, loving, fun to be with and she meant the world to him. He didn’t take the time, or wasn’t interested in looking through the window. Fulfillment requires more than just comfort and convenience.

People often don’t look through the window of their own feelings either. They don’t have a clue where their feelings or thoughts are coming from, or even exactly why they are thinking or feeling the way they are.

This can lead to irrational responses such as taking an instant dislike to someone you’ve never even met, let alone ever talked to.

There’s a trigger back there in the subconcious somewhere saying “This person is a threat”. If you aware of your mind and how it drives you, you can avoid many irrational responses.

Even so, don’t overlook “gut feeling”. Sometimes we pick up small warning signals that really are relevant.

Try to look beyond the surface, both in people and situations.

When you feel anxious or uncomfortable, try to examine what you are thinking. Is it irrational, negative self-talk? If not, then pay close attention to your intuition – it’s meaningful, and its origin is often spiritual.

Bruce Donald Gilham

http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TheAwakening-DiscoveringYourSpiritualPath.html

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Discovering-Your-Spiritual-Path/dp/1608602087

Anxiety has very little to do with NOW. It’s all about what COULD happen. It’s good planning to be prepared for the worst, but there’s a huge difference between PREPARATION and EXPECTATION. Anxiety involves EXPECTING the worst to happen, and when you expect the worst to happen, it often does!

The old cliche, “Ninety per cent of what we worry about never occurs”, is true! If something is worrying you, don’t ruminate about it. Don’t chew it over and over – just bite the bullet and DO it! Then it’s over and done with, and you can move on.

You have a spiritual element in your makeup. You really are NOT alone! I can’t stress that enough. Spiritual guidance is there for you to recognize and accept. Grasp it with both hands. It’s a gift; it’s there for you. Open your mind and be guided. You have that miraculous privilege – use it. It’s as simple as that.

Despair is the emotion you feel when you are at the point of giving up. You’ve tried this, you’ve tried that – none of it made a blind bit of difference! This is a serious turning point.

When you feel despair you have reached rock bottom. You can stay there, or you can realize that the only direction from where you are now is UP!

This is the time to place your trust and faith in your innate spirituality. Let it come from within you. Don’t agonize over what you might do or say – just DO and SAY! If you ask for guidance, you’ll receive it. Nothing you do or say can be wrong if you allow your inner spirit to guide you. In short – DON’T GIVE UP!

Be proud of yourself and who you are. You are on your way up, and NOTHING can stop you except your own self-doubt. The best thing you can do with your self-doubt is LOSE IT! Let it go, and let your spirit guide you. Your star is rising.

Solitude – how important it is! Although we live in a modern, crowded world, we still carry our tribal origins with us. We are unusual creatures. We are both gregarious and solitary. We need both. We need to be gregarious in order to live in a spirit of cooperation with the other members of our “tribe”. We need solitude in order to look within ourselves, to concentrate our minds on certain matters and most importantly, to find inspiration. The American Indians recognized this. In their rituals for attaining adulthood, they would spend time alone with nature, seeking a spiritual experience.

We still need that. That’s why we have relaxation CDs that comprise of birdsong, gently running streams, waves washing across the shore.

We need to know where we come from, our place in the greater scheme of things and the connection between our life and ALL life. This connection is part of our spirituality. We BELONG!

Bruce Donald Gilham

http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TheAwakening-DiscoveringYourSpiritualPath.html

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Discovering-Your-Spiritual-Path/dp/1608602087

Look back at your life. Try to do this objectively – like a second party. What has led you to this point and why? Accept that there IS a reason why you’re in the position you’re in right now, uncomfortable though it may be.

Have you watched small children at play? They laugh, they skip, they run, but above all they use their imagination. As a child, you would have done the same.  It’s possible to tap into and rediscover that imagination you had as a child. It’s still there inside you. It’s hidden behind your adult-acquired layers of responsibilities, the preoccupation with how others see you, the worry of financial security, the burden of the daily grind, self-doubts and negative thoughts.

Allowing that young child within you to re-emerge is a major step, not only towards spirituality, but also towards feelings of joy, happiness and the ability to accept the comforting you need from a greater source.

What happens when a child watches a movie? The child becomes totally absorbed by what it’s seeing. When the movie finishes, the re-enactment begins. The child, by way of imagination, BECOMES a superhero, a fighter pilot, a pirate, a wizard – whatever has impressed and stimulated the imagination in the movie.

Who really impresses you? Sean Connery, Angelina Jolie, Bill Gates, Hilary Clinton? What is it about that person that impresses you? Their sincerity, their success, their money, their self-confidence?

Okay, here we go! Study them; BE them; BE whatever it is about them that impresses you. You only have to do it for an hour a day; maybe only an hour a week. It’s pretending. Make it fun.

Dress yourself to the image you want to project and walk along the street, or go out for a cup of coffee. BELIEVE you’re that special someone. Imagine people are looking at you because they think they recognize you. Guess what! They probably ARE looking at you for precisely that reason. You’re giving out the signal, “I AM someone”. People are locking on to that signal. We often say that some people have “presence”. That’s what you have when you play this game.

It may seem strange at first. It’s a new mask. If you wear it often enough it will become familiar and comfortable. It will become the start of the new you!

Sounds simple? Maybe it’s not, but do it anyway. It will get easier each time you do it.

Bruce Donald Gilham

You may find “The Awakening – Discovering Your Spiritual Path” interesting reading. It concentrates on the spiritual aspect of self help, self knowledge and the pathway to personal health, success and well-being. You can find it on the following links.

http://www.eloquentbooks.com/TheAwakening-DiscoveringYourSpiritualPath.html

http://www.amazon.com/Awakening-Discovering-Your-Spiritual-Path/dp/1608602087