Strategic Book Marketing Official Blog

Rental Car Ramifications

Rental car companies are all pretty much about the same but you will steer toward the ones who have the most convenient locations and with “on airport” locations being preferable. However, the current trend is for airports to build “Rental Car Centers” off-airport for most all of the rental car companies.

There are only a few simple precautions to take with regard to rental cars. If there is damage you didn’t notice it when you picked up the vehicle it will be a problem when returning it. So do a walk-around and be sure any damage is duly noted in writing before leaving the garage or lot and don’t lose your copy. Also, keep it afterward for a while so when you get a letter about the damage a month later, send a copy of the damage statement. Better idea still—don’t take the car. Get a different one.

If you do find a dent before returning it you may want to give it an extra kick since you will be paying for it anyway.

Another useful tip is to memorize at least the last three numbers or letters of the license plate. Why? Because it is not your car and a lot of cars, especially rental cars, look alike.

For example, while in Dallas once I stopped at a convenience store for some mints. I parked my blue Chevy rental at the side of the building. With mints in hand, I returned to the car and got in. As I put my key in the ignition I realized the key was not going to turn. I also noticed that the papers I left on the passenger seat were not mine. Whoops, wrong car. My blue Chevy was two cars away. Just as I was getting out of the car the guy to whom it belonged was coming out of the store. He looked at me with a “what the hell are you doing in my car” expression.

People in Texas can legally carry guns so I quickly apologized and explained my rental car was to the right and I mistakenly got in the wrong car.

He chuckled and told me his was a rental also and originally was headed for my car but realized it was not the correct plate number.

From then on, I always denote the plate number and don’t risk being shot—at least in Texas.

This article is a condensed excerpt from my book Planes, Pranks & Pepto Bismol by author Bob Behrent. More than two million air miles and forty years of business travel prompted me to share my experiences with others.  For more details, comments and ordering information go to www.Planes-Pranks-Pepto.com .

Meals for the Road Warrior

            When you travel to all the major cities you will have the opportunity to sample food from the finest culinary establishments in the world. However, some of you will be on limited budgets, because of cheapskate bosses like the one I had some time ago.

            Until you are established and either on your own or fully supported by your company, you may need to keep to the TGI Friday’s and Chili’s price-class restaurants. There is nothing wrong with those types of restaurants; in fact, I like them. A high-end steak or seafood house or the best Italian restaurant in town needs to be an occasional reward for the aggravation you are subjected to during your travels. So take your best customer out to dinner or lunch on the company. The customer will appreciate it and you will get to spoil yourself for a while.

            When you can’t, check the telephone book for restaurants go on the Internet and search them out. The Internet will usually give reviews and list the price ranges and show the menus so you have an idea  what you will be spending. You can also ask around for advice. I don’t recommend asking the hotel desk clerk because they may have an incentive to suggest certain restaurants and consequently, they may have no first hand knowledge. However, some hotels have a list they can give to you of local recommendations that may be okay . . . or, perhaps not. Sometimes the restaurants may pay to be on the list. It doesn’t necessarily mean they are any good.

            Cab drivers are another bad source. Sure, they know where they have dropped people off, but that does not necessarily mean the place is good.

            Ask your customers for suggestions because they have usually had some history of suckering in a few salesmen for a high-priced meal at some place where they would not want to pick up the tab.

            It is best to ask for the specific food you want, such as Mexican or seafood, etc. Many times there are local “mom and pop” restaurants that are only known to locals and turn out to be fantastic and are cheap.

            Keep in mind that restaurant reviews are subjective. For example, a person who usually frequents White Castle for lunch and loves those tiny little ground-up mystery meat, will probably think a burger at Ruby Tuesday’s tastes like the thirty-dollar burger at Twenty-One Club in New York City. If you have eaten a burger at Twenty-One, Ruby Tuesday’s will taste like White Castle.

            A friend of mine recommended “the best prime rib you will ever eat” at some greasy diner near my home. “Huge,” he said. “Hangs over the plate.”

            Since my best prime rib was at The House of Prime Rib in San Francisco, Lawry’s in Las Vegas and Kinkaid’s in Redondo Beach, CA, and since it is flavor, not size that matters I nodded, lied and said I’d try it one day.

            I all comes down to the reference you are accustomed to. So take that into consideration when shopping for a restaurant recommendation.

This article is a condensed excerpt from my book Planes, Pranks & Pepto Bismol by author Bob Behrent. More than two million air miles and forty years of business travel prompted me to share my experiences with others.  For more details, comments and ordering information go to www.Planes-Pranks-Pepto.com .

Hotels On The Road

Most national hotel chains are pretty good but some are better than others. Even within the chain itself some may be run poorly and others may be great.

What does a road warrior need most in a hotel room besides the usual amenities?

Answer: Electrical outlets.

With all the electronic gear we need to carry there are seldom enough outlets to plug in all the chargers. The rooms that are best have an outlet strip on or near the desk. Even still, I carry a three-way outlet adapter and use it most of the time.

Some rooms have all the outlets blocked by furniture and moving furniture is something I do not want to be doing after a long day. This something I could never figure out. It would appear the hotel management was too cheap to allow you the use of electricity to charge your cell phone.

Also, they will usually give you an iron but try finding a place to plug it in. Most times you will be setting up the ironing board in the nook outside the bathroom and use the sink outlet for your power source. This is usually somewhat cumbersome and difficult working in the narrow area but it is better than moving the bed.

I of course have developed my regular favorites for the locations I visit frequently and they vary by location. Usually, if I select one of those favorites in a new location, the standards are much the same.

Recently, I was forced to stay at low-end motel because all the better hotels were sold out due to a huge college event in town. This was certainly not one of the finer hotels of the lesser category. However, the roach races in the evening were very entertaining. I won twelve bucks on Rodney Roach, Number 4, but then a rat ate him and I began to lose money on Crumb Eater, Number 12.

There was dried coffee puddles on the chest of drawers where the TV sat, the hot water faucet in the sink did not work, the tub was moldy and when I awoke the next morning, I had two mysterious, swollen bites on my back.

You get what you pay for, but in this case the roach ranch was a hundred and forty bucks. I guess it was the entertainment cover charge.

One thing that most all hotels have in common is rough, scratchy towels. I’m not sure if this is meant to be an amenity to exfoliate some dead skin, and also several layers of live skin as well, or it is the industrial strength laundering.

I could never understand people stealing towels from a hotel. Unless they wanted to use them to grind rust off their old pickup truck, it is not worth going through the trouble, or pain.

One last thing: I could never figure out why in all hotels, good or bad, the terry cloth tub mats always stick to my feet when I step out of the shower and start drying off. It’s a mystery to me. Maybe it’s a tub prank?

 This article is a condensed excerpt from my book Planes, Pranks & Pepto Bismol by author Bob Behrent. More than two million air miles and forty years of business travel prompted me to share my experiences with others.  For more details, comments and ordering information go to www.Planes-Pranks-Pepto.com .

Bob Behrent

Flanders, NJ

Airline Delays & Cancellations

Most annoying, to the business traveler, is airline delays and cancellations. Although delays are not isolated to just the airline industry they are the most prevalent.

 So how do we handle that? The simple answer is, “Not well.”

The airlines claim four official types of delays: weather, mechanical, crew being timed-out or anything else that does not fall into the other three. I will address the “weather” issue in this article.

Weather is the killer of hope that you will arrive at your destination on time, if at all. It is the root of the most dreaded cancellation and weather cancellations leave the airline no responsibility to you for anything, except maybe rebooking you for a later time, or day.

If the plane is delayed or canceled for a mechanical problem and you will be stranded at the airport for a considerable amount of time, usually you will get, if requested, a meal voucher. It will be for a dollar amount that is equal to fast food costs so don’t get your hopes up for a gourmet meal on the house. Hotel vouchers will be issued if you must stay overnight. Not so with weather issues. You are on your own.

 You may ask, “What about ATC, or Air Traffic Control issued holds and delays?” Well, ATC delays are usually due to “weather conditions.” These can occur at airports other than the one you are trying to leave. If you’re in sunny Los Angeles a snow storm in Chicago or thunder storms in Houston will slow things down for the entire country even if you are not going to either of those destinations. And if you are, many times ATC will not allow your flight to leave the airport. The reason? So there will be no wasted fuel by requiring your aircraft to circle while other planes are landing at a slower rate in the bad-weather location.

Personally, I hate it when I am on my way home and ATC makes my pilot do figure eights or circles in the sky to kill time before landing, due to weather conditions. With thousands of planes in the sky at any given time I just want to go straight to the runway, land and not be one of those thousands of aircraft that air traffic controllers are trying to keep from colliding into each other in the sky.

 Simple delays of an hour or two are usually tolerable, unless you have made the really stupid mistake of setting up the most important meeting of the year to begin an hour after you were to arrive. It doesn’t matter if the flight was to be six hours or thirty minutes late. If you are late, you look incompetent and blaming the airline is lame. It will only emphasize your own poor judgment and planning.

 I always leave the day before my business is to start. It simply gives me a twenty-four hour buffer zone. If my flight happens to be cancelled completely, I then have the opportunity to postpone the meeting with a full day’s heads up to the customer or client.

 So sit back, relax and . . . wait.

This article is a condensed excerpt from my book Planes, Pranks & Pepto Bismol by author Bob Behrent. More than two million air miles and forty years of business travel prompted me to share my experiences with others.  For more details, comments and ordering information go to www.Planes-Pranks-Pepto.com .

You Sick Puppy

One of the worst things that can happen while on a business trip is to become ill when traveling. If you have an obsessive dedication to the job, or you are the eternally optimistic that “you’ll be okay in a while,” many times you will still strive to carry out your commitments even though you feel like you are dying. Just be certain that you are not—perhaps having a heart attack. However, that is another story.

Fortunately, nothing that serious has happened again to me. (At least at the time of these words) But Dallas, Cleveland, Detroit, Boca Raton, San Jose and Taipei have afforded me the experience of some wonderful food poisoning.

On the surface you may say that the six times in all those years is not that bad. But if you have never suffered the woes of food poisoning you have no right to think that. Considering the thousands of meals I have eaten in restaurants I figure your chances are that the food is 99.98% safe or at least your body will handle simple bacteria without your noticing. But that .02% can really spoil your day and night. Vomiting, diarrhea, with fever and chills added, camping on the bathroom floor wrapped in a bedspread is not a happy time, especially knowing you have a full day’s work ahead of you tomorrow and you intend to push ahead come hell or high water.

Even if you had a bad night and you are feeling better in the morning (internally, anyway) you will most likely be in poor shape from weakness, no sleep and dehydration. So, drink water and eat Jello and crackers until your insides settle down.

Four of those incidents I can attribute to salads or salad bars. Cleveland: I have no idea. Maybe the air?

In Taipei it was raw oysters causing my worst demise. Even at that high-end restaurant in a fine hotel, where Bill Clinton was staying at the same time I was there, it can still happen. That one affected me even after I returned to the U.S. My doctor prescribed Cipro® and I took it for eight days to knock out that Taiwan bug. I now carry Cipro® tablets with me wherever I go.

Bottom line is, do not eat salad bar food or raw shellfish from unfamiliar restaurants unless you like spending a lot of choice time in the bathroom.

Bon appétit.

This article is a condensed excerpt from my book Planes, Pranks & Pepto Bismol by author Bob Behrent. More than two million air miles and forty years of business travel prompted me to share my experiences with others.  For more details, comments and ordering information go to www.Planes-Pranks-Pepto.com .