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IS SEX NECESSARY?

The role of sex in making babies is well known. But there is another reason – a very important reason. It’s about hormones. Hormones affect the way we feel, our moods and passions, the way we think, our creative, mental, and sexual energy, our relationships – in short our hormonal balance affects almost every aspect of our lives.

The beauty of a full-on loving sexual relationship is that it enables both partners to draw on each other to modify and strengthen their individual hormonal balance. This can only occur when there no physical or chemical barriers to impede or complicate the two way transfer of male and female hormones. In such a relationship the partners begin to think a little like each other, they start to acquire a little of the karma of each other. They both develop an inner peace and a heightened self-esteem. They each become larger individuals than they already are. They do this because they complement each other. They don’t restrict or limit or try to modify the other’s behaviour – they come closer together because their body chemistries are interlinked – they are both fuelled by a similar
hormonal combination. This is the real importance of a sexual relationship once reproduction is no longer an issue; it is also why no meaningful relationship can develop unless the two-way exchange of hormones is unimpeded. It is a relationship, which requires trust, but also requires an understanding and interest in getting the best from your body.

The human body is an incredibly complex machine, which is amazingly efficient and nothing about it is random – there is a purpose behind everything. It has all sorts of ways of telling you what it needs and sends us frequent messages about its requirements. Most we take as a matter of course. We get hungry because we need food to convert to energy or thirsty because we need to flush the system. Some messages, however, may be quite subtle- they may be for instance call for a change of diet to sweet, sour, fiery, or fatty food. Always there will be a reason. Most of us will recall childhood admonitions; – “Don’t pick your nose,’ ‘Don’t scratch that sore,’ ‘Don’t squeeze that pimple.’ and so on. But we did, and kept on doing it because it felt good and the results seemed beneficial, and in fact they are.

One of the most frequent messages our body sends out is it wants some sex. Why? After a few kids, most couples have generally satisfied their procreational desires, but the urge for sex continues long after the desire to reproduce has passed, and indeed long after the ability to reproduce has gone. Before that happens most of us get involved with some form of contraception and go to it, without worrying too much about why, except that it feels good. BUT- the reason it feels good is not just a tax -free perk of a relationship – it feels good to ensure that we will keep doing it, for our own well-being, and the well-being of our partners, and even more so for the well-being of our relationships.

Once the individuals in a relationship start an unprotected sexual relationship they start to acquire attributes derived from each other; they literally start to think and grow together. Body fluids, (seminal fluid, sperm, vaginal fluid, and saliva) are the nutrients and bonding agents of a full relationship.

When the writer first started thinking deeply about such things, it became obvious there were a lot of questions needing answers. Some of the very best relationships are childless. That was a clue – couples not requiring contraceptive techniques had something over the rest of us. They were deriving the full benefits of the two-way transference of body fluids unmodified by chemical additives, or depleted by ligation or vasectomies. Meanwhile the rest of us, blessed with our little darlings, decided enough was enough and took the contraceptive course which seemed most suited to our need for unrestricted passion or pleasure, blissfully unaware that we were cutting off our hands to spite our face. By putting a physical or chemical barrier between male and female, we were denying our partnership the means of achieving full maturity.

Ironically, couples in a committed relationship have no need for artificial methods of contraception. Our bodies come fully equipped to allow us sex every day without fear of pregnancy. Natural methods rely on identifying the day the woman ovulates and after allowing a few days either side, there is only about a week of potentially fertile time, when an alternative method is needed.

There are numerous methods available to cope with these few days. Oral sex is widely practised by much of the community. Low lights, soft music and soixante-neuf in front of the fire can bring a sparkle to even the most mundane Saturday night (but do turn off the TV). The ancient Greeks considered the rectum was more inviting than the vagina, which was reserved for procreation. Men can learn non-ejaculatory techniques, and manual methods afford an opportunity to learn much more about your partner’s responses. Mechanical methods are not very exciting, but if you are into that scene just make sure you have some spare batteries.

Remember our bodies are not an accident – there is a grand design and reason for everything, but lots of very clever people have a habit of overlooking the obvious. In doing so they have helped restrict the ways which we can best manage ourselves.